Mothering Is Sacred Work (But Not When You're Mothering Men)
- Jackie Graves
- Jan 1
- 6 min read
Updated: Jan 17
Choosing motherhood is something truly sacred; allowing your body to be a vessel for
new life is neither an easy decision nor an easy physical task. Unfortunately, the way
society commoditizes women's experience with pregnancy and motherhood has put
them at a serious disadvantage, forcing them to shoulder the majority of household labour – often on top of having their own careers or goals.
Along with this, the female experience in heterosexual relationships continues to be
impacted by patriarchal expectations, with many modern-day women reporting that they feel compelled to “mother” their romantic partners.
Women being painted as caretakers to the point that it’s simply “a part of their nature”
takes the sacred desire for motherhood and creates an unfair dynamic in scenarios
where this level of care is extended to the man in the relationship.
The contributors at Yoni Mudra Art Gallery will take you through this and much more
as we deep dive into mothering as sacred work, but not when you’re mothering a
man.
The Cognitive Burden of Mothering Men
Mothers tend to operate with a certain level of mystery; their pain and struggle are often
hidden behind the duty of being a good mom. There’s simply too much mess, too many
tantrums to quell, and an unequal level of household labour to handle. More on that later.
When exploring what mothers actually deal with in a day, it may sound typical to some, but it's more than most could reasonably handle.
Mothers don't only handle the typical day-to-day responsibilities; they are often the ones
who take on the primary role of the chief planner, bearing all the mental and emotional labour.
This carries through not just keeping things clean, keeping children fed, but it
goes into managing homework, scheduling appointments, and taking control of/steering
the family's commitments. In a lot of cases, these tasks fall to mom, and mom alone.
Imagine then that a woman doesn’t just do this for her children, but also for her husband or life partner.
These tasks can take a great mental toll in the present, especially for mothers who are
also handling planning ahead, including important things such as retirement savings, education savings, return to work, and other future planning.
emotional turmoil and relationship strain. This strain has been proven to be incredibly detrimental to relationships and how partners view one another.
What Mothering Men Actually Looks Like
When we talk about “mothering men,” what do we actually mean? The concept refers to
a woman who, regardless of whether she has children, takes on a more parental role
than a romantic partner. This means the woman in this situation manages the household as a mother would under patriarchal expectations. Only now, often with a modern “twist.”
She manages the majority, if not all, of the household chores.
She cooks and prepares the majority, if not all, of the household meals.
She handles most, if not all, of the necessary household tasks (buying groceries, checking fire alarms, handling bills, etc.)
She plans and organizes all family events including birthdays, anniversaries, doctor’s appointments, familial events, travel plans, etc.
She does regular, menial tasks on behalf of her husband or partner (to an unnecessary degree).
She cleans up after her husband or partner when he leaves messes he is fully capable of handling.
She acts as the default problem solver for issues for her husband or partner, when he could address them himself.
She guides her husband or partner through basic tasks like laundry, dishes, or budgeting that he has chosen not to learn. Especially when he actively utilizes weaponized incompetence.
She monitors the habits and responsibilities of her husband or partner to ensure he’s taken care of.
She carries the mental load of remembering everything for both parties.
She puts the comfort of her husband or partner first even when she is exhausted or overwhelmed.
If you think this list is exhaustive, you’d be right, because statistics have shown that
women and mothers exert more energy and labour within domestic relationships,
especially those where children are involved.
household meals. While this issue has been cited by the source as needing
improvement, it continues to be a concern in modern times.
The issue here is that the sacred maternal instinct of women is being exploited by the patriarchy, causing a systemic position of infantilization of women's partners. This destroys adult intimacy and mutual respect and creates an unhealthy dynamic where the woman views her husband or partner as a child.
The National Library of Medicine reports that women who take on a large portion of household domestic duties reported they were significantly less sexually attracted to their partner.
This isn’t good for women or men.
What Sacred Motherhood is Meant to Be (Outside of Mothering Men)
Sacred motherhood is by no means a one-dimensional concept and can be explored
deeply and thoroughly in history. There is the very physical change that occurs when a
woman chooses to give new life, and then there is the spiritual aspect that comes with
creating new life.
Even before a child is ever brought into the world, women report feeling a connection through the physical and emotional changes that come with pregnancy. It is a process that reflects strength, resilience, and an instinctive bond with the world around them.
This connection with lifegiving isn’t just a biological process; it’s interconnected with emotion, culture, and spirituality. Many societies recognize motherhood as the
When a woman chooses to become a mother, she steps into a role that is not only vital
to the continuation of the next generation but also deeply connected to the fabric of
The Practice of Nurturing vs. Patriarchal Expectation
Mothers are often naturally nurturing, allowing them not only to continue managing the chaos of their own lives but also to enrich their children's lives. However, it's important to know that motherhood should never be controlled by societal expectations of
perfection.
After all, giving birth causes a myriad of symptoms that often don’t fit the
commonly accepted mold of a new mother: a serene, soft-spoken, gentle, and put- together woman who can “handle it all.”
Postpartum depression and anxiety are well-known but rarely explored. However, it’s often written out of the idealized story of women giving birth. To truly give you a full grasp on what new mothers experience, let’s explore some common postpartum symptoms:
Postpartum Anxiety
Hard-to-control worry and fear
Overwhelming thoughts
Emotional Distress
Hard to focus
On edge
Can’t relax
Irritable
Obsessive worry
Panic
Tearfulness
Behavioural Impact
Avoiding people or places
Overly cautious
Repeated checking-in
Patriarchy is designed to paint women as selfish for wanting equal or even fair treatment, especially when it comes to pressuring mothers to be self-sacrificing and nurturing. Any desire to have a single ounce of self outside of the child or man in the equation could be labelled self-centred and self-serving.
Reconnecting with Motherhood in a Male-Centric World
Motherhood is more than just a physically demanding experience; it completely
reshapes a person’s identity, sense of purpose, and the way women move through the
world. Spirituality, when connected with motherhood, can make the transition feel more grounded and inspiring rather than overwhelming.
As life becomes busier, responsibilities increase – a spiritual connection can help a
woman avoid losing herself in the process. It can help mothers feel supported, even if
by spirits unseen or practices designed to keep her deeply in-tuned with herself. It keeps them centered, comforted, and understood by themselves and others in their sphere.
It reinforces that motherhood is not only about care and responsibility but also about meaning, intuition, and personal growth. Women can choose rituals and reflections that match their own personal and spiritual beliefs, allowing them to strengthen their connection to themselves and the lives they nurture.
Connecting on a spiritual level doesn’t need to be difficult or even necessarily religious;
how you choose to practice is up to you:
Yoga & Meditation
Deep breathing & re-connection through mindfulness
Spending meaningful time in nature
Incorporating spells through witchcraft tailored to Motherhood Magic
Attending seminars about Yoni Mudra and reconnecting with the Divine Feminine
Yoni Mudra Art Gallery: Helping Women Reconnect
Whether you’re looking to have your energy adjusted through Reiki, looking for an
informational seminar, or just want to connect with art that celebrates women, Yoni
Mudra Art Gallery is the place to go. Here, you can reconnect with your feminine self
over a cup of coffee or tea, along with like-minded individuals and those looking to learn
more. Connect with the divine feminine and find reprieve with Yoni Mudra today.
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