Reclaiming Your Sexuality from a Sexualized World

Women are hypersexualized in our society, so much so that normal bodily functions and experiences are treated as arousing or taboo. Breastfeeding, using a public bathroom, choosing to forgo a bra for the sake of your comfort; all of it is sexualized by the society in which women exist. 

It can make feeling sexual or even just sensual… for lack of an eloquent word: “icky.” Women may even begin to experience their own sexuality through the lens that their purpose is for, predominantly, male or masculine pleasure. Their own sensations of euphoria and ecstasy are rarely considered, to the point of being identified as a MYTH. 

Yes, a myth.

With the rates of sexual assault against women continuing to persist in a world that treats their sexuality as a commodity, how can women reclaim their sexuality? While it may not be easy in the current political and social climate, it is possible. Not only this, but it is a truly spiritual and individual experience. 

As women, there are stipulations tied to being “sexy” or “desirable,” so much so that on top of their careers, unevenly distributed household labour, and the expectation to always look ideal, women may often decide to simply… give up. What’s the point? 

The Yoni Mudra Art Gallery will take you through all of this and more: how can women reclaim their sexuality? Without even giving men or masculinity a thought.

The Male Gaze: Analyzing the Patriarchal Hierarchy of Masculine Desire

One of the most liberating ways to reclaim your sexuality is to remove the thoughts and influence of the male gaze. The term “male gaze" describes a means of portraying and viewing women that places men in a higher position of power and control, all while diminishing women and sexualizing them as objects. 

This idea goes beyond the way women’s bodies are often framed to satisfy male fantasy. It also speaks to how that same gaze, whether directed at them or simply observed around them, shapes the way women learn to see and judge themselves.

"Male gaze" was initially coined by British feminist film theorist Laura Mulvey in a 1973 essay titled "Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema." It was later published in 1975 in a film theory magazine.

This comprehensive piece presented Mulvey's view from the perspective of a professor of film and media studies at Birkbeck, University of London, detailing how mainstream media objectifies women, showing the female body through a narrow lens of heterosexual male views and portraying them as "passive non-actors, secondary to the active male characters." 

The male gaze sees the female body as an object, meant to please the heterosexual male within a patriarchal society. It encourages men to watch, desire to possess, conquer, and use women for their own personal gain. 

Moving Outside the Male Gaze

The best way to move outside the male gaze is to understand what it is, where it comes from, and to free yourself from its control. Educating yourself on the pervasiveness and influence of the male gaze can help you to offset how you approach it in your personal life. This allows you to choose how you portray yourself, alter how you view your body, and walk through life in a way that supports your confidence and vision, without feeling pressured to give in to the male gaze.

Rather, you can seek out depictions of women and girls that challenge traditional stereotypes supported by the male gaze, such as the Yoni art featured at the Yoni Mudra Art Gallery. Rather than depicting idealized, pornographic versions of the female body, the gallery features a variety of Yoni art that shows the female form in multiple shapes, sizes, and colours, defying the traditional desire of the male gaze. 

Here are some additional ways to reject the male gaze: 

1. Don’t Give In to Stereotypes: Don’t feel you need to shrink yourself to seem more appealing to men. This includes letting yourself be heard in male-dominated spaces, refusing rigid gender norms, and pursuing “non-traditional” paths outside patriarchal expectations. This doesn’t mean women can’t choose traditional roles like being a stay-at-home mother, as long as it’s truly her choice.

2. Don’t Compete with Other Women: The patriarchy conditions women to submit to men’s desires to be chosen, creating unhealthy competition. Instead of seeing other women as threats, draw inspiration from them and uplift them. This can be as simple as complimenting them or celebrating their accomplishments.

3. Care for and Love Your Body at All Stages: Don’t speak about your body disparagingly, especially around young women and girls. Treat your body with love, nourishment, and movement to honour it at any stage of your life.

Reclaim Sexuality Beyond the Body

When we talk about reclaiming sexuality, this doesn’t just mean enjoying sex and sexual experiences. You can also reclaim sex beyond the physical body, exploring the more spiritual side of sensuality and the reproductive and pleasure experience. Instead, you can use the experience as a means to bolster your creativity, mental health, and spiritual well-being. 

Feeling sexy and experiencing sexuality as a woman outside of the physical self requires being whole as an individual. This means embracing the things that make you feel complete. For some women, that means embracing their creativity, whether that's painting, writing, crafting with clay, or even crocheting. 

It's also important to ensure mental well-being by not overburdening oneself with others' responsibilities; instead, strike a balance that truly allows a woman to embrace all that matters to her and feel whole. Additionally, exploring the divine feminine can also help a woman to find her sexuality without feeling the pressure to turn into her physical body.  

This is more than just sex and orgasms – not that those things are inherently unimportant. Rather, it’s a lack of pressure to feel that’s all female sexuality needs to be. 

Sexuality and Spirituality

Spirituality and sex is an interesting concept that could be its own article, but for this, let's simplify it. Spiritual sex means approaching intimate connection with oneself or others with a sense of sacredness, whether or not you engage in sexual activity. How one engages in sex or sensuality in a spiritual context is dependent on the woman in question and is part of her own spiritual journey.

Exploring the divine feminine and spiritual sexuality will show you that the world has revered and feared the intimate divinity of women for centuries. 

When you actually break down the divine feminine, you'll find that it's an integral part of spiritual history and the female religious experience. However, history has also shown that it has been repressed by patriarchal beliefs and traditions, usually in the fear that empowering women will break them out of their sexually repressive yet demanding roles.

In some cultures, women are elevated while also being vilified by others. However, the British Museum has an exhibition called "Feminine Power: the Divine to the Demonic," which explores both sides of feminine power across a 5,000-year span. Some of these deities continued to be revered, even if they were considered formidable. 

It features female deities such as Kali, the Hindu goddess whose name translates to: "She Who Is Death." They also feature Guanyin, the Buddhist gender-shifting ideal of compassion, and Sekhmet, the Egyptian war goddess who could cause and cure disease. 

This museum highlights something very important: that feminine power within religion can be feared and also worshipped. And connecting with that deeper divine power can lead you down a path of truly reclaiming your sexuality.

The Physical Experience: Men Welcome, But Not Required

This section is a little more abstract, as it’s going to be unique to each woman respectively. How you choose to engage in sexual pleasure needs to be your choice, and your choice alone, and no social pressure or expectations from men should push you into it. 

When choosing to share your sexual experience with anyone, regardless of whether they are a man or not, you need to make sure one thing stays completely unwavering: enthusiastic, continuous consent. Consent must be given for every sexual activity and sensual encounter.

However, it’s also important to note that you don’t need an intimate partner to reclaim your sexuality, either. While for many, having an intimate partner feels essential, for others, exploring oneself might be easier to do as a solo activity. 

Not sure where to start? Here are some simple examples:

• Define your sexuality for yourself instead of through others’ expectations.

• Listen to your body and honour what feels right for you.

• Set boundaries without apologizing for them.

• Explore what makes you feel confident, empowered, or connected to yourself.

• Let go of the shame that came from outside influences or past conditioning.

• Celebrate your strengths, intuition, and self-expression.

• Surround yourself with people who respect your autonomy and choices.

• Speak about yourself and your body with kindness and respect.

• Allow your sexuality to evolve as you grow, without pressure to fit any mould. 

Whether you choose to explore your physical body through self-touch, tantric yoga, or even just appreciating your own body in a mirror with some positive affirmations, broaching the topic of reclaiming sex through the physical body doesn’t need to be intimidating or “icky.”

Yoni Mudra Art Gallery: Reclaiming Women’s Autonomy

The Yoni Mudra Art Gallery stands as a locally rooted space that celebrates the divine feminine, sisterhood, diversity, and grounded embodiment. Its mission is to foster healing, learning, and genuine connection, offering a place where women can feel seen, supported, and inspired. If you’re ready to reclaim the female form, please visit us soon.